In a rare burst of creativity, I complain about being in an airport.

Hmm, I seem to be struck with the urgent, undefinable urge to write. This may have something to do with the fact that I am in an airport right now, and this is pretty much the only way I can legitimize being awake since for 4am. Seriously guys, that's usually my bed time.

So what have I experienced so far? Lets work backwards. I just got a delicious breakfast sandwich for free...and by free I mean I did not pay for it...and by not pay for it I mean the cashier was really backed up and forgot to change me...and by did not charge me I mean that before she realized she had made a mistake, I ran like hell. That's me, I'm classy. Seriously though, that might have been the best breakfast sandwich I ever had, and not just because it should have cost like $40 becuse I bought it in an airport. It was geninely tasty. It almost makes me wish I had actually paid for it. Almost.

Before that I got the lovely opportunity to experience the fully body scan. Painless yes, humiliating, kind of. (I like to leave that kind of thing to the bedroom.) Anyway, apparently a stud in my jeans looked surprising like a NUCLEAR BOMB and I had to get molested...I mean frisked, anyway. The airport security person thought it was funny when I kept rolling my eyes and I told her I usually get paid for this sort of thing. She laughed, and I died a little inside.

All this was a result of me visiting my parents this weekend in what I'll call my..."Oh god, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, freak out" visit. Was it productive? Mildly...after I got that speech that all my dreams were a waste of time and everything I value is ridiculous, things went great. I assured them that I would fail them in every way they had expected and if they really wanted a normal kid they should just adopt a new one.

In short, I'm going back to school. I think. Generally that's what people do when they have no idea what they're doing with their life, right? Getting into debt sounds a great idea to me! Massachusetts has already fucked me out of most of my severance because of the stupid mandatory health insurance I have to pay. I'm going to break my legs on purpose just so I can get the most out of my health insurance.

In conclusion, I'm fucked. Yeaaaaahha! Obviously, I'm still going to continue with comedy, design and all of my random projects. I was pretty okay with not really having much direction in life but everyone else seems to be pretty pissed that I'm not really interested in the whole going into debt-terrible soul sucking office job-horrible marriage-horrible children-horrible divorce-cancer-death route. Fuck em, at least this will provide me with some good material.


<3
christa




Oh yeah and in case you didn't already figure it out Supper Sanity Club now has a logo, made by me, obviously. Wooo!

Having a severe medical condition in the 1900s must have been awesome, and by awesome I mean terrifying...

Okay admittedly, I haven't been paying attention to umm, much of anything art related lately. I kind of half assed it for awhile but I've got some t-shirt design rejects here. I actually like them a lot, so I think I may use them for myself, or make some prints of them.

The source images are actually from this creepy old German medical book from the 1900s that I found at my grandparents house. The book may smell like mildew and give me a headache, but it's got a wealth of amazing images...some kind of make me want to vomit though...(make it a point never to look up anything involving undefinable skin rashes or congenital deformities..ggaaaah) There were some amazing pictures of that weird hair overgrowth syndrome that causes you to grow hair over 98% of your body and some weird shit with people in iron lungs...so I'd have to say it was worth it.

In slightly more upbeat news, I have a few more comedy shows coming up that I may or may not post the dates of, depending on my level of confidence.

Oh yeah, aren't I supposed to say something funny at some point in this blog? Hmmm...me and a few of my friends decided to create a drinking game based on one of the several Muppet movies I own. Any time there is something with googly eyes is on screen you have to drink. Alcohol poisoning and/or hilarity is sure to ensue.

Peace out cub scouts!

xta

I'll take the top half

Hey hey! Some actual finished work! Rock! This is a modification of my reverse mermaid print that is going to be used as a t-shirt for, you guessed it, Tall Ship Sexy magazine. Woooo! I've also got some nautical themed zodiac signs coming up for them as well. This project is a lot of fun because it incorporates all my favorite things...tattoo flash, giant squids, and the possibility of drawing some more titties.

So the thing is...with all these projects I have going on, plus the stand up, my life has been reduced to tiny scraps of paper that make absolutely no sense, to anyone but me. For example: I have a single post-it not reading bestiality. Yup, that's it. It's an idea for a joke I just wrote, that let me tell you, is incredibly classy. That and all the half scribbled ideas I have for my commissions, basically make me look like a schizophrenic. Now, not like I'm not used to people thinking I'm crazy, but usually it's that kind of "maybe that last drink was a bad idea" kind of crazy, not the "you need to be sedated and put into an institution" kind of crazy. The former, my friends, is significantly cooler...plus I'm being a productive consumer. Everybody wins!

I'll probably hit up a couple more open mikes this week (just did my first last Monday)....but I'm not posting where they are yet until I'm convinced I don't suck. Now, I'm not saying that I'm the greatest comedian ever, but I think I could give Carrot Top a run for his money....but mostly that's because I still have the ability to make facial expressions. I gotta say though, that guy's eyebrows are waxed beautifully.

Peace out cub scouts!
(Stay away from big black vans and men with candy.)

<3

christa

My most embarrassing post to date!

Hello all! In an effort to remind you guys that I am not, in fact, deceased, I have decided to post out of sheer force of will, with absolutely nothing of value. Huzzah! (Sorry I've had a bunch of work but nothing I can post yet...)

Anyway, did anyone realize that I AM A GIGANTIC NERD? Yeah, I hide it pretty well, but it's true. As evidence, I have posted my version of a couple of characters from my most favorite graphic novel/the amazing literary masterpiece, Scott Pilgrim. To all you who are not involved in dork circles, drawing other people's characters is pretty common practice.

Scott Pilgrim is a great graphic novel if you're dually a music/comic nerd like me. It's about a dude who's kind of a loser that's in a band and has a mysterious and kind of aloof girlfriend....also he has to battle all of her evil ex boyfriends...ninja style! Awesome? I think so! Additionally, the writer uses the word "awesome" pretty frequently, which just happens to be my favorite word (as evidenced by the previous sentence).

My apologies for nerding out on your for a minute there, but to my own credit, I like waaaay dorkier things, that right now, I am keeping to myself.

Next up: A real post with real work...eventually! I promise!


As a side note, Scott Pilgrim is being made into a movie directed by Edgar Wright (cool) with Micheal Serra as Scott (lame) and will be out sometime this year. If you are interested in the SP series, go to the author, Brian Lee O'Malley's site.

http://www.scottpilgrim.com/

<3 xta

I am kind of a masochist, as evidenced by every decision I make

I may not believe fairy tales, monsters or human decency, but I am damn good at drawing them. Above is my example. Seriously, I'm like Norman Rockwell except not dead and significantly less talented. Also I'm not famous, I've never worked for Life, or any other magazine and I am terrible at drawing puppies. Okay, I'm actually not like Norman Rockwell at all. Maybe I'm more like Edward Gorey, except not asexual and less talented and none of my illustrations are about dead children and....

Enough of that. For those of you who don't know me very well and need further evidence of my penchant for masochism, I'm taking a stand up comedy class. My reason for this being, a)I need more attention and my tits aren't big enough to get on girls gone wild and b) I hate myself.

I hope for myself that I'm either really, really awesome at this, or conversely, really, really, really terrible. I'd hate to be mediocre. I rather go down in a fiery blase of glory then just be okay. If you had the option to choose your death, would you rather take a bottle of pills of jump into the grand canyon? If I'm gonna die either way it's grand canyon all the way, baby.

Here's to one of my first (of my already accumulating) bad decisions of 2010!

Cheers!
christa


Edit: I almost forgot! I saw someone wearing one of the Far From Finished t-shirts I designed at the Hudson Falcons show I went to this weekend. Wooo!

Capitalism Don't Fail Me Now!

I think the reason why I get along with musicians so well is that our lives sort of follow a similar path. Specifically, trying to hold down a job while putting a lot of time into something you love, being really tired, doing a lot of work with little or no return, drinking excessively aaaaaannnnd being fucking broke. It's cool though, no one ever said being an artist of any kind would ever be easy and every single minute of it is totally worth it.

....That being said...My Etsy page is finally finished! That means it's time for you to buy stuff! A lot of it! Woooo capitalism! New prints (like the ones pictured above) and more! The Holidays are quickly approaching and it's time to get to it. Who wouldn't want an awesome original print by a semi-talented local hack such as myself? They'd be crazy, I tell ya, crazy!

I make it a point to keep the cost of my stuff as low as possible, because I know that most of my friends and peers are in much of the same financial situation as I am. This stuff is for everybody, not just people with a lot of cash to throw around. It's always hard to find a unique gift for someone, especially when you are in dire straits. Not to worry friends! That's where I come in!

Anyway, I didn't post all the new prints/accessories* I've got up today so I might tempt you to hit up the site...

I promise, if I can manage not to stab my eyes out for the rest of the Holiday Season, more band stuff will be forthcoming....


http://www.ShamelessDesignRocks.etsy.com


<3
xta


*Thanks to my lovely and talented roommate/best buddy Emily, for letting me borrow her head to model my hair pieces. I tried taking pictures of them on myself and it was almost impossible. You know how hard it is to take a picture of the side of your own head? Gaaah!

I always wanted more than 50 hours every week and a paid vacation (on the Jersey shoreline)

An exercise in futility: because just like just like Jesus, I can resurrect myself from the dead and my blood is made of alcohol.* (clicky to enlarge)

Every word of this comic is true except the part about getting on the train at 8:15am...that would mean I actually get to work on time.


*My apologies on the lettering and perspective. Although people tell me I am am artist, I can barely read my own handwriting and have a deathly aversion to rulers...

Ride the waves! (of apathy)

Ok I'm not gonna lie. This thing sorta sucks. I drew it in a meeting. heh. I'm working on about 8 million projects right now and they are all about a quarter finished. Gaaaah. I'm not complaining of course, I love getting work. This just happens to be a convient excuse for my slackerdom lately.

Anyway, enjoy! (or not I don't really care, this blog is free ya know, so quit your bitchin imaginary people who I believe read this thing...)

<3
xta*


*I started abbreviating my name like that waaaaaaay before christina aguilera did by the way. I think she has that tattooed on the back of her neck or something. Why the hell would you tattoo your own name on yourself? Do you think she forgets?...and if she did, is the back of her neck really the best place to put it if she has such significant memory loss issues? Laaaamme. Anyway, I'm brinin it back. Fuck that bitch. Shitty pop stars ain't got nothin on me...**

**Unfortunately, I also happen to share my birthday with britney spears, which I find equally distressing.

Malt liquor tastes better when you've got problems

This is a panel for a comic that I may or may not decide to finish. I like it, but it's taking forever to ink and I just got another idea for a much funnier and significantly less depressing comic. I have millions of half finished comics lying around on random sheets of paper but on top of all the other design stuff I have to do I never quite get around to finishing them. I might try start drawing them a bit simpler just so I can get them out. Perhaps then I my attempt at not looking like a complete wuss will be a bit more successful. A girl can dream...

Also... on occasion I have been known to do work that does not include skulls, tattoos, crushing self deprecation and/or punk rock. This is one of those times (at least for the second pic). My buddy asked me to do a logo for his consulting business and thus, this logo was born. I don't know anything about consulting, but word on the street is that he kicks ass at it.

http://www.eustaceconsulting.com

Today's post inspired by people with pulminary disorders

I was in Wyoming for work this week. Wyoming? Yeah, I dunno man, I'm not the boss. I got to hang out with some cowboys though (one guy said my hair made me look like a wolverine) and I had a random conversation with a giant native american dude about tattoos. Weird right? That's Wyoming.

Anyway, I was stuck in meetings most of the time, thus, once again I bring to you Random things I draw while in meetings that have nothing to do with me.


Enjoy!

You know, the fun kind of sprained ankle...

The Sprained Ankles CD release show, flyer designed by yours truly. This show is shaping up to look pretty crazy/awesome/awesomely crazy, so of course, you know the drill. You should go. Seriously...but don't worry about forgetting because I'll be plugging the hell out of it later. heh.

In completely unrelated news, I seem to have a knack for meeting really bizarre pseudo celebrities. On Saturday night we called a cab to drive us out to the city. Who's driving it? That dude from the Biggest Loser*, who lives in Somerville. I suppose meeting him was sort of inevitability's because of the frequency which which I call cabs, but you get the idea...Anyway, he was a really nice dude and told us (surprise surprise) that most of the people he was on the show with gained a lot of the weight back. Also, for a while people would follow him around in the grocery store and constantly comment on what he was buying. Moral of the story? TV will solve none of your problems and achieving minor celebrity status seems to be kind of a pain in the ass.

*Note: I never watch that show, and only saw it a few times, because of those dudes are from my town.**

**Note2: That was my desperate attempt to retain my coolness. Successful? Probably not.

Forever ain't that long when your smile's stuck in your head like a pop song...

An Exercise in Futility, now brought to you in (very small amounts of) color.


Man, I need to stop drawing comics that make me look like a loser. Next one I'll win the nobel prize, solve world hunger, cure all diseases and save a kitten from a tree...because really, what's better than living viciariously through yourself?*

*Note: Yes, I completely ripped that line off from the Dos Equis commercial. Who can argue with the most interesting man in the world?

And all the breakers and new wavers, and the rockers and the preps would all be in their places on the front lawn or the steps

While I'm working on my website and other things that have nothing to do with this blog, I present you with An Exercise in Futility.

I showed this to my parents before I scanned it in and got some hearty laughter from them both, which makes me think...either this probably isn't that funny or I'm an incredible disappointment to them. Both are entirely possible.

Fun Fact 1: I went to Catholic school for 13 years (k-12), hence the uniform. This might explain my current condition.

Fun Fact 2: The reason I depicted myself in the uniform was because the only thing I wore other than that was sweatpants, until I was about 11 or so. Yeah. I was pretty cool.

I ain't got no status

I jumped on a bandwagon a little late with this one. I found out that the RxBandits were having an open call for t-shirt designs. Even though I figured it was too late to submit anything, I would hate myself forever if I didn't try.

Somewhere, in an alternate universe maybe, someone is wearing this t-shirt.

I am incapable of portraying happiness in any realistic way.

I sketched this awhile ago but I finally got around to coloring it. And yes, for those of you who know me, I have a dress just like that. When I'm drawing people I usually just draw them in something I already own/someone I know owns because it's easier then coming up with something myself.

Fun Fact #1: That's the dress I wear when I want free drinks.
Fun Fact #2: It works.

Heh.

Here's looking at you, kid

Sketch brought to you by boredom, bad luck and the gaslight anthem.

The mermaid problem revisited

This is my first official journal comic. I think I'm going to try to do one of these a week and take things from there.* Sorry about the size, you'll need to click on it to make it readable.

*Disclaimer 1: I've have not, nor ever intend to make out with my cat. He has this habit of standing on my chest and looking at me while I'm asleep, so more often than not, I am woken up by smelly fish breath.

*Disclaimer 2: I do not fantasize about mermen. I have trouble enough with regular guys than to waste my time with imaginary ones.

*Disclaimer 3: Shit. This whole journal comic is a lie and I only just started. So it goes...